Sometimes I just don't understand the blogging world.
For starters, I love to make friends through blogging. In fact, I have made some of my coolest friends this way. Beverly, who is neat and has a cute baby and is also my same height which is nice. Mila, who is the same person as me. Katherine, who has been reading my blog since its very beginning, when it was full of teen angst. And Rizzio, who has also been reading for a while and who is really creative and probably my most artistic friend.
I met all of these people through blogging, and may not have become friends with them otherwise.
So, when I made the Friends IRL Facebook group, I was expecting to meet cool people who could possible be good friends. Like, I specifically only accepted requests to join from people in the area, not because I am a picky biotch, but because I want us to actually hang out. To be honest, I feel like no one wants to be friends. Not just in the Facebook group (although there are like, no bites on the things me and Katherine propose to do), but in the blogging world in general. I am totally fine with those who don't want to be friends. Like, 100% they are good people and deserve many a chocolate cakes. However, I just get so confused when those people talk like they want to be friends in real life. It makes me feel like they are just trying to grow their blog. I don't know, I could be wrong. But, that's just how I feel sometimes. I support people who try to grow their blog, but I definitely think there is a time and a place. Ads are a good place, blogger events are a good place, links at the ends of comments are a good place, but hijacking situations in which people want to make real friends? Not a good place. Sometimes I just hate how some bloggers use every single opportunity as a way to boost their pageviews and followers.
The reason why I hate this is because I LOVE BLOGGING. I have ever since I started when I was 16 years old. I didn't even discover the "big blogs" like The Rockstar Diaries/Love Taza until a year after I had been at it. I didn't even know you could make money blogging until like two-ish years ago. All of these things were new discoveries to me, but they were happy discoveries. Now, I'm discovering that some people just want to use each other to become "blog famous" or they just want to go out together so they can take pictures and document it. I'm all for documenting things, but when that's the only reason you're hanging out with a person/initiating contact I feel like there's a slight problem.
Anyways, now you know my feelings for today. In short, I just wish there weren't people with agendas who feel the need to climb over others to get there. Trying to be blog famous? Awesome. Buy an ad. I hope you get there, I really do. I mean who wouldn't want to be paid the big bucks to document their life and eat good food? But, please don't get me all excited that you want to be my friend in real life, only to drop me if I don't contribute in some way to your pageviews.
Thank you, and good night.
XOXO
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E
*This post is not aimed at anyone in particular.*
Wait I wanna be friends in real life. And I think it's kind of already true since we've been in the same ward forever and you're in my parents ward and I look for you every time I go and maybe it's just time to be frands and go eat at communal. Okbye. And yes I get annoyed with blogging all the time.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA. i never see you :'(. i want to eat at communal! let's freaking do it! i'm really awkward in real life, as you probably remember from girl's camp when i talked to 2 people and was in bed by 8 pm. so, just prep for that.
Delete1. Your bangs look great. 2. I really liked this post. I'm sorry that your friends irl group thing isn't working out as you'd hoped :( if I were still in provo I would love to do aaallllll the irl things, I had so much fun hanging out with you guys those few times. Anyway, I 100% agree with everything you said in this post.
ReplyDeleteAH I KNOW. i'm sad you moved, cause we had fun :(. let's hang out when you come back :)!
DeletePREACH. I loved blogging for my first 3 years of it! But lately it's gotten more difficult because the blog world is so . . . political? I don't know. It's weird. You get it though. I feel super weird when I get comments from "readers" who are there to leave a really nice comment like they want to be best friends, but then they disappear forever because they were only visiting my blog pond to go fishing for followers. More importantly though, your dress is amazing, and I'm obsessed with those earrings. You are great.
ReplyDeletehahaha. yeah, i don't really get bugged when people do that, but i know plenty of bloggers who do get annoyed by it! i got the dress from a fashion blogger's instagram sale… worn 1 time… so basically YAY. also jake gave me the earrings. i'll let him know he has good taste :)
Deletek, i really love this post & i really think i need to apologize cause i'm one of the members of your friends irl group..... & i don't live in utah anymore..... so i really shouldn't be...... haha but if i were there i would totally want to meet in real life! i mean, i probably wouldn't go to the first meeting cause i'm awkwardly shy, but i'd definitely be at the second one, haha. i totally agree with this post though, i really don't like how people act like your bff, but only if you comment on their blog... it's so confusing. i'm into authentic relationships & it's hard to distinguish them via internet, but you can totally tell who's being real & who's not. does this make sense? anyways, i just really wanna say, great post!
ReplyDeleteHAHA! omg you're fine. i know you don't live here, but i approved you cause for some reason i thought you used to/visit often? idk, now that i say that i have no idea why i thought you live here, haha!
Deleteand yes, it is sort of hard to distinguish who's being authentic or not. i always just decide after the first hang out lol!
thanks!
I totally agree with everything just said! And I want to be your friend in real life! When I happen to go down south we will make it happen. Also, I met Riley this weekend with Laura Nelson and I didn't take any pictures. Haha afterward I was like... Oh well! Because I was there to meet her! Not there for a blog post! So, I get it.
ReplyDeleteHaha I totally agree!
Deleteoh my gosh! haha k i just commented that on riley's post. i love how you guys didn't (not that it's bad if people do) but it's like you guys didn't care about it that much cause you just luh each other. haha, understood. and yes, please email me when you come down here because i am so down to hang out.
DeleteI totally agree. Like the Friends IRL thing made me sad when it was the just the usual group of us wanting to hang. I mean, not like...sad. because it will still be fun. But ya know??? I also hate when people find your instagram/blog and comment on or like a few things so you will look at their profile. It annoys me to no end. Man, I could roast bloggers now. I'm the same way as you, I was blogging in the myspace blog section. I just do it because I like it, not because I want to be the next Taza haha
ReplyDeletehaha! it really was just the usual group + like half of the people who joined. maybe they didn't get the notifications? idk.
Deletelol that's funny that annoys you. it doesn't bother me because i literally just don't look at their profile, but i can definitely see how it would get annoying!
can we please have like a little outing where we roast? can we eat roasted foods while we roast? that would be v enjoyable.
I know I'm a total stranger, but I just wanted to say this is so interesting for me to read! I started blogging for fun too (and also partly for my mom who lives so far away, haha) and definitely didn't find out about the big blogs until way later. It took me even longer to realize there were blogs somewhere in between mine and the big ones where people posted great stuff and all connected with each other and became real friends through blogging. I don't even feel like I'm there yet, like I don't even really have blogging friends who have the potential to become real friends you know? But I want to be there! I seriously read great blogs all the time and think the writer and I could be such good friends in real life, but I don't know how to make it happen without being super weird (probably like this comment is making me sound). Anyway, this post obviously rings true for so many, so kudos to you for putting it all out there!
ReplyDeletehaha i know what you mean. i literally used to just say, "we should be friends in real life." and like half the time it was a thing? i'm socially awkward though. yeah, it definitely is hard to like, figure out how to approach it! if you are in utah county i will totally be your friend :) if not, best of luck! it's tricky but then once you make blogging friends irl it's amazing hahahaha.
DeleteCouldn't agree more with this post!!! One of my biggest pet peeves is when people have hidden agendas to being your friend. Man if I lived in the area I would be hopping on this bandwagon to meet! Being so far away from so many blogger I have connected with through email and Facebook literally sucks!!!!!
ReplyDeleteawe i bet! but hey, you're going to have an awesome baby to be friends with soon, so maybe that will help? haha.
DeleteI want to be friends in real life! I'm going to look for your group right now :)
ReplyDeletehaha i just accepted you. welcome!
DeleteI found you through a blogging friend who published you as a guest post and fell in love with the way you take photos and of course you and Jake are so adorable. I find myself reading your blog more than most/probably one of my current favorites, and have gone through extra ways to follow you and make sure I don't miss anything. However, none of which are working, because I always come back to new posts! I wish I could email subscribe. :c
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I wish I lived anywhere NEAR Utah because I would LOVE to be your friend! My husband and I both. (which is why I enjoyed what you shared on your latest post-your friend with young marriage) I'm totally not trying to be creepy but you're so cool and you remind me of Zooey Deschanel which is pretty much my inspiration for all things adorable and fashion. You're the non-celebrity-but-kinda-celebrity version of her, but unique and totally awesome because your blog posts are superb and yeah. All that good stuff.
I'm really sorry people suck. I started my blog to get out of the reaches of depression from Facebook and people who don't care, into my own little world of blogging, where I don't really care if people care but they do, more so than my IRL friends. However----there are people who definitely don't respond to comments/etc. and they have like a bajillion views. I dunno. Maybe I'm just crazy, or maybe I'm still slightly a newbie, and don't get how "cool bloggers" are supposed to be. But I like making virtual friends.
a) let me know if I can email subscribe / where to do so
b) if you'd be super interested in doing an interview on my website so I can keep you there forever (I've been collecting my favorite bloggers lollll)
c) have a lovely day & sorry for rambling! - just wanted to finally say something because I've been "following" you for a little while. Thank you. c:
a.) i just added an email subscribe on my sidebar just for you :)
Deleteb.) sure, shoot me an email
c.) you are not rambling at all! i'm glad you commented!
-bloglovin' is a great way to follow blogs, idk if you already use it. but basically it's like a facebook kind of, and you can just like scroll down and see what blogs you follow have published new posts. and even if the blogs you follow don't have bloglovin' accounts, you can just type their url in the search bar and follow them! you can "save" posts too, that you want to come back to. i would die without bloglovin' so it might be something you will enjoy too!
i'm glad you like my blog! and i'm glad you said i look like zooey deschanel haha. do you watch new girl? that show cracks me up and i love her so much because of it. i got my bangs before i loved her, but maybe i knew i would love her in the future or something, haha!
Yay! I'm following via email now.
DeleteAnd oooh, that is quite exciting. I will try to send you an email with questions within the next maybe hour or so?
Thank you for the response! I have bloglovin' and I'm 99% I'm following you. I just forget to use it sometimes because of how many things I have to login to. I actually only just made one so I'm not very far in progress with it yet. Thank you for the cool advice though. I will try harder with it, haha.
And you're so welcome! I am a die-hard New Girl fan. I loooove it. And her. And Nick Miller. Especially Nick Miller. Hahah! They make a perfect team. It's funny because his real name is Jake and with you looking like her, AH, you guys are the modern day Jess and Nick. <333
I can't wait to see all the rest of the lovely things you post.
First of all, HALLELUJAH. This needed to by said by somebody! Haha it was only a matter of time before I went absolutely nuts and wrote a ranty post about it myself! I know that bloggers in NZ have a "brunch club" and they meet one a month for brunch! I've never been able to go myself, but I'm planning on changing that this year! (Fingers crossed). That could be a cool thing to do!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I would LOVE to be your friend IRL, but distance :( Boooooo :( Maybe when I'm rich and touring around USA I can come say hello ;)
oh you have to go to brunch club! that sounds so fun!! yes maybe i'll have to do something like that here, because that sounds so fun!
Deleteand agh yes. come vist, please. (or i guess visiting you in new zealand might be cooler haha. oh! or austrailia! i feel like you have a vacation house there or something, but idk why i'm thinking that, hah! i could be wrong)
So obviously I am awful at reading blog posts when they occur, normally I just visit your page and binge read (sorry...) but THANK YOU FOR THIS. I blog...kinda. I'm getting better, but this post was very necessary. Thank you for being then real delio, and if I felt cool enough I would totally hang out with you IRL, because I too am living in Utah. :)
ReplyDeletebinge read all you want! omg, you can totally hang out with me irl because you are prob way cooler than me. you should join the friends irl group! it's a bunch of bloggers in utah! here's the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/873516729347895/
DeleteI just discovered your blog, and I love it. I too, am really sick of the blogger world. I've consistently had about 15 followers, since I started my blogging when I was 14! I'm at a point where I don't blog much anymore. I just haven't felt like it. Everyone else seems to have found their audience, and for some reason, I can't find the "alternative yet conservative peeps of UT valley that don't mind that I'm not LDS". I'm not particularly inspiring, I'm just a girl in UT. But I like the readers that I do have, because it's created a very intimate gathering, where those who read my blog regularly comment, and make me feel loved. Keep blogging. I think it's good for the soul!
ReplyDeleteah yes. that group probably doesn't exist in utah haha. i feel like it's one way or the other! idk though. now that i think about it there are actually a lot. i am one, although idk if i would describe myself as conservative. thekatalogue.blogspot.com too. she is way dope. i can give you links to more if you want! but ya, i know what you mean. it can feel like everyone is so different from us sometimes. i'm glad you have a good little community going though!!
DeleteSo I feel like a stalker, but I just found this post and I love it! I have friends who are so upset that they "only have 10 followers." I feel like being famous isn't (or shouldn't) be why people do it. Also, I feel like this is a super great post because sometimes we as bloggers forget that we have to reach out and make connections! So anyway, thanks, I promise I'm not a creeper.
ReplyDeleteHaha! No worries. No shame in blog stalking. :)
DeleteI'm so glad you agree! Thanks for your lovely thoughts Shelbie!