1 11 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
It always rains after you wash your car, and when you’re late, you hit all the red lights. Right? Actually, it doesn't. These are assumptions we make, and there are many, many more that exist in our lives aside from these examples. See, when bad/annoying things such as the previously stated examples happen to us, they evoke a negative emotion and we tend to remember them.
I think we can all agree that things that make us feel have an effect on us and make us remember them/form assumptions. However, mainly these are bad things. Such as, when you lose items, are running late, have bad interactions with people, etc. I don’t think life should be lived like that. You know, constantly focusing on the small unfortunate things that happen to us throughout our day. And, theoretically, any behavior/way of thought can be changed. Therefore, allow me to introduce to you my new project. It’s called, simply: 5.
Everyday (or every time I post) I will say 5 things that I like about that day. Not big things, such as getting an A on a test, or finding a $50 bill on the ground, but just little things we should be noticing, but aren’t.
For example, today’s 5 is:
1.) Watching the snowflakes drifting through the air with the wind on the fourth floor.
2.) The boots the girl watering the plants was wearing.
3.) The way termites shake when they touch each other.
4.) The color of the world in the wintertime.
5.) Morning radio talk shows.
Join in if you’d like. They say appreciating the small things in life makes you happier person.
XOXO
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E
1 10 13
Thursday, January 10, 2013
I have a lot to say, but I just started feeling sick for some reason, so we’ll entitle this “Little Things That Make Me Happy” and start with Day One.
Everyday Things That Made Me Happy Today:
1.) The way the world looked as I drove to school today.
2.) The conversation with the Sole Customer.
3.) Professor Magelby’s bow tie.
4.) The clerk at the gas station.
5.) Watching the snow storm from the cafe windows.
What are yours?
XOXO
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E
1 7 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
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| don't know the artist: inside the building on university and center, by the black sheep cafe |
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| coleman galleries |
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| january 2013 art stroll |
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| muse music display by trevor christensen. check him out at trevorchristensen.com |
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| also at muse music. unknown artist. beautiful work though. |
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| unknown artist |
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| steven waggoner. check him out at stevenwaggoner.com |
This one’s called “Things No One Tells You” and it’s dedicated to the piles of folded clothes sitting on the floor in the basement. They’re there because I’m moving for the fourth time in six months and starting to wonder what’s wrong with my brain. Mostly, I’m just scared for life, I guess. In high school it was fine and during the summer it was fine but now I can’t remember for the life of me why I chose a college that doesn’t offer my major, or why I signed a contract for a $420 apartment when my last day at Starbuck’s is on Sunday. These things aren’t making sense to me and it’s getting a little hard to breathe in here.
Mainly, because I don’t want to be a loser and I’m scared driving an hour for school is going to make me crazy and I will never be able to hang out with Jake and I’ll get fat from eating all the food at my mom’s house and I’ll fail my classes and I won’t be able to start my BSW until winter 2013 and that throws my whole plan off. Also, I’m scared life isn’t going to work out and I’m going to make more mistakes and maybe not even graduate and then I’ll be one of those girls who laughs at their past dreams like they were pretentious.
I don’t feel pretentious and I don’t think a master’s degree is too much to ask.
Maybe it is though, and maybe my art is weird and I do need to go to more college activities, because maybe I am living my entire life wrong and I need to stop watching horror movies and spending my time dreaming about the future. Maybe I should start listening to Bruno Mars and going to EDP dance parties and wearing jeans. I mean, that’s all I’m hearing from most people lately anyways. “Emily you should...” but, I don’t want to do any of that. Ok, world? Can I just spend my time listening to Dashboard and organizing my room? I’ll miss all the sporting events and the majority of important school extracurricular activities, but Prayer of the Refugee is so much more appealing.
Probably I need to cry right now, but all the training hasn’t worn off, so I’ll just zone out while doing every day tasks and hope it ends soon. And life will turn out ok, because that’s what everyone always says and they wouldn’t say that if it weren’t true.
XOXO
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E
1 5 2013
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Now I’m swallowing some Motrin and drinking out of a plastic Pepper Pals cup. Alliterations are happening accidentally and for some reason #14 is hurting, even though it shouldn’t be. Maybe it’s because it’s remembering 7th grade lunches or 9th grade lunches or 10th grade lunches. But, probably not, because honestly high school doesn’t matter at all. Not a lot of people know that.
High school mattered for the gpa, but that’s pretty much it. High school friends stayed in high school and missed experiences still are not being regretted. Mainly I just miss the teachers, because let’s be honest here: they’re the only ones who made a difference in our lives.
High school was good for the friends, but now they are doing drugs or having sex with multiple people they don’t know or not talking to me or out of state. Life long? Life less? I’m not really sure. I think it was good, though. Meeting all of them. But, they didn’t affect me. Not like people now are affecting me. Not like JC affects me. Or my mother. Or that girl on my Instagram.
Maybe I’ve just now opened my “Grow Your Own Heart Kit” or maybe I’ve just now opened my eyes, but either way I’m getting further now. I’m building bookcases and calling in sick and gaining some weight. I’m taking baths and cleaning my life in every way. That’s progress, right? That’s better than junior prom and friday night football games, right?
It is, though. So, mainly I just want the world to know that I know what it’s doing now.
And I couldn’t be more excited.
XOXO
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E
life: 1 4 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
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| creepiest. |
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| Sensuous Sandwich |
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| 40 tickets for destroying the mothership! |
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| redoing New Years, because I fell asleep |
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| toasting to Trixie's limping leg |
Also, it’s strange because I’m still making terrible decisions, but at this point it’s like this plague that’s taking over my life and ruining my ability to spell specific words such as “convenient” and “restaurant”, and also increasing my anxiety and desire to organize. I’ve completed some Pinterest tutorials, but I’m still spiraling towards a $2,520 debt and that’s not the ideal situation.
Like the Taco Bell sauce packets say though, “If you never do, you’ll never know”. I mainly know now and mainly I want school back, because my hands are getting shaky as of late and that makes it really hard to hold a paint brush.
Also, it’s probably because I wish I was Amelie Poulain because then the world would look really beautiful and that would be great. Instead, though, I’ll find the people who make the world look beautiful, like Autumn and Jake and my mom and Andrew and Carissa, because that’s just as good as serving Cognac to a man with a tape recorder.
I guess it’s what you make it. Like, for real. Who knew.
1 1 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Mainly this one doesn’t have a title, so we’ll call it “time and a half” because this year isn’t going to be any different from the rest. We can make resolutions and throw parties, but we are one of two places in the end: hungover over and ordering a vanilla latte with an add shot, or asking for a name. And to be completely honest with you, both of those places are just mediocre.
Mainly this is about when my resolution started October 17 and has gotten me further than all of the rest. To me, that’s the part that means something real. After all, words are just words unless we make them more than that, and for once in my life I’d like to make something beautiful and powerful. Maybe that hasn’t happened, except I know it has, so you can think about that next time if you want. It doesn’t mean much to anyone but me, but that’s how everything in the world is supposed to be anyways, so it’s not the absolute worst.
Mainly this is about the 6’3”, 39 year old man who complimented my black button down, and the 67 year old one who thanked me for my smile. It’s about the couple that literally melts my heart and their white mochas, because a more beautiful face has never existed and he is obviously in love with her. The real kind, I mean. And let’s not forget about the boy who gets an Americano and the kids who drink Christmas while discussing life plans, it may be pretentious, but at least they are getting at something.
Mainly this is about the woman who steals $2.42 worth of black coffee everyday and how I let her do it when I am working register, because if that’s what joy is then who am I to take it away. Starbuck’s has produced enough negativity into the environment, and it’s my duty to put it back. That’s why I wrote in beautiful cursive today, and that’s why I spell people’s names horribly wrong on purpose when Phil is making drinks. That’s why I upgrade people’s drinks to venti when they are sad and that’s also why I am quitting. Sadness exists everywhere, but I would rather it exist outside of my own body.
Mainly this one doesn’t have a title because I can’t decided if it’s a hello or a goodbye. Because I can’t decided if I like The Perks Of Being A Wallflower and the song “Juicy”. I mean all of this literally, so don’t read into it.
I know one thing though, I like school and Jake and winter and art and writing things and horror movies and living at home. Maybe none of those things involve a boy named Charlie or the line “my lover self-automates”, but they are what makes me happy and that’s the only thing that should be accounted for.
We are all growing up and it is beautiful.
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