1 1 2013

Mainly this one doesn’t have a title, so we’ll call it “time and a half” because this year isn’t going to be any different from the rest. We can make resolutions and throw parties, but we are one of two places in the end: hungover over and ordering a vanilla latte with an add shot, or asking for a name. And to be completely honest with you, both of those places are just mediocre.

Mainly this is about when my resolution started October 17 and has gotten me further than all of the rest. To me, that’s the part that means something real. After all, words are just words unless we make them more than that, and for once in my life I’d like to make something beautiful and powerful. Maybe that hasn’t happened, except I know it has, so you can think about that next time if you want. It doesn’t mean much to anyone but me, but that’s how everything in the world is supposed to be anyways, so it’s not the absolute worst.

Mainly this is about the 6’3”, 39 year old man who complimented my black button down, and the 67 year old one who thanked me for my smile. It’s about the couple that literally melts my heart and their white mochas, because a more beautiful face has never existed and he is obviously in love with her. The real kind, I mean. And let’s not forget about the boy who gets an Americano and the kids who drink Christmas while discussing life plans, it may be pretentious, but at least they are getting at something. 

Mainly this is about the woman who steals $2.42 worth of black coffee everyday and how I let her do it when I am working register, because if that’s what joy is then who am I to take it away. Starbuck’s has produced enough negativity into the environment, and it’s my duty to put it back. That’s why I wrote in beautiful cursive today, and that’s why I spell people’s names horribly wrong on purpose when Phil is making drinks. That’s why I upgrade people’s drinks to venti when they are sad and that’s also why I am quitting. Sadness exists everywhere, but I would rather it exist outside of my own body.

Mainly this one doesn’t have a title because I can’t decided if it’s a hello or a goodbye. Because I can’t decided if I like The Perks Of Being A Wallflower and the song “Juicy”. I mean all of this literally, so don’t read into it.

I know one thing though, I like school and Jake and winter and art and writing things and horror movies and living at home. Maybe none of those things involve a boy named Charlie or the line “my lover self-automates”, but they are what makes me happy and that’s the only thing that should be accounted for. 

We are all growing up and it is beautiful.