"Matt Damon cut his hair short for some reason."



How I passed the time on the airplane.

tank - t.j maxx

utility jacket - gap

skirt - charlotte russe

shoes - ross

tattoo - my alter ego

Brie with macadamia nut crust, balsamic reduction, green apples, honey, fig, and foccacia bread.
BEST MEAL ALL MONTH. 

MCDONALD'S GOT MY ORDER WRONG.
"I would like a cheeseburger with everything, minus the meat."
"Ok. Your number will be 37."
....
"Number 37!!!"
"Sweet! Thank you!"
....
"Em! That looks good! Except. It has meat."
"Mother f my life."
"I'll take it back." 
"No, mom. It's ok."
"I'm taking it back."
"Ok."

A WOMAN WITH A MISSING ARM AND SHOULDER SHOWED ME WHERE TO PLUG IN MY LAPTOP.
"Honey, there's a plug right here!"
"Ah!! Thank you so much!!"
"You are certainly welcome!"

MY BROTHER READ MY JOURNAL WHILE I WAS SITTING NEXT TO HIM, AND READ AT LEAST FIVE PAGES BEFORE MY MOTHER NOTICED, AND THEN PROCEEDED TO QUOTE IT FOR THE DURATION OF THE DAY.
"Emily!! Colton's reading your journal!!"
"Colton!! Stop reading my journal! Mom! Get it from him!"
"So... Emily... Who's ***********? What happened after ******? Does ***** know ****?"
"FML."

MY GRANDMOTHER KEEPS TABS ON MATT DAMON.
"When I was in the Marines I had to cut my hair short.. (story about cutting hair)."
"Yeah, that's what I'm going to do because (response to story about cutting hair)"
"Yeah... Matt Damon cut his hair short for some reason."
(silence)
(uncontrollable laughter by my mother and I)



Oh, the things people say.


p.s. what's cooler than being cool?