I want to slow dance outside Farr's Fresh.

Jen Lindley just stated it perfectly.

"Girls suck."

They just dump you for their boyfriends. Then, once their boyfriend dumps them, they come crawling back to you. Except for now you have a life and have made new friends, but of course you're supposed to ditch all them for your ex best friend who ditched you to begin with.

HONESTLY.

That's why I hang out with boys for the most part and build Lego's and fight with light sabers and go to gaming release parties and leave early because yet again someone doesn't understand my humor.

Who wants to do hair and make-up and nails when you can watch horror movies and streak through parks and toilet paper houses and go to three story parks late at night? No one. That's right.

Well. I'm going to go now. Not because I have anything better to do, but simply because this typing is distracting me from my Dawson's Creek. (p.s. Zoey, we have much to discuss.)

xoxo,

Emily

P.S. If Jen Lindley falls for her therapist (also, if HE falls for HER) then I am going to scream. For roughly 4 seconds. And then hide my face in a pillow and cry tears of rage directed at unrealistic writing.

And then I pierced my nose.

Naw, I'm just kidding.

JOKESTER.

One of these days, but not today. 

Um...

I don't really have much to say, other than I'm watching a preview for a new television show called Grimm. 

It looks very grim.

JOKESTER.

I went to Beans and Brew today and ordered a ice tall white mocha. I asked for it decaf, and the guy said, "What's the point in that?" I went on to explain how I didn't need the energy boost.

He brought me out my drink while I was sitting indian style in a booth. He told me I was going to get stuck like that and then walked away. It was very awkward.

I took a sip... and I'm pretty sure it was cream based. But not completely sure. Which really weirded me out, because I don't know if I've just become accustomed to the taste or if there wasn't any coffee in it. 

My grandmother says that my drink is too sweet... and to me hers is too bitter. But what if my drink is too sweet now because I've become accustomed to it?!

I guess that was a really pointless story, but it's just been bothering me.



I'm aware all these photos are different.

I've just been bored lately, so I've been experimenting.

Well, I'm off to purchase a new iPhone. 

xoxo,

Emily

He was a punk. She did ballet.

I've been rediscovering Avril Lavigne this afternoon. It's quite enjoyable.

Yes. I'm aware this photo is completely unflattering and you can see that I have lost my bottom retainer, but that doesn't matter.

Why doesn't it matter, Emily?

INTRODUCING UGLY PHOTO WEEK.

No. Your eyes are not deceiving you. This is happening.

Everyday will be a new ugly photo.

Embrace it. Participate.

It's good for your confidence.

In other news, I completely failed the ACT. Whateves. I'm either going to get into BYU or I'm not. Getting a 30 would have been nice. Hopefully, by some miracle, I got it. I guess we'll find out in 3-8 weeks.

I know you guys don't actually care about my educational future, so I'll inform you on other news.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: It's terrifying. I've never seen a scary movie in theatres and HOLLLLLYYYY SHIZ. It was spectacular. Go see it. OH! And there is this preview for some weird "connect the crosses" movie. I closed my eyes because I knew I would never sleep again if I continued to watch it. 

Addy, I know that kid you tweeted about and can give you his number if you'd like.

Angela, update your blog more.

Mady, you as well, blogosphere misses you.

Autumn, how am I supposed to live vicariously through you if you never update!? I miss stalking your Bennington activities.

Zoey, I love you. That's all.

Mom, hi.

xoxo,

Emily

P.S. Anyone want to be Twitter friends? @emilycoletti

Let's do this.

I hate the sound of dogs licking

Well, I've just been doing schoolwork and studying for the ACT. 

Also, I got attacked by karma yesterday.
And tomatoes.
It's definitely not enjoyable.





See you Sunday.
Wish me luck.

I would like to marry the Swedish boy.

Ok. I hate my blog.

Want to know why?

No one used to know about it. I could literally write anything, and know I'd be completely safe. I could rage on my brother, or complain about that skanky ex best friend, or give day to day updates on my current stalkee.

I can't do that anymore, because now people I know actually read it. This means that I have two choices.

1.) Stop revealing personal information.

2.) Use a secret language that only I will understand.

3.) Suck it up and let people know how I really feel.

See, I would very much like to choose number three... however, I would like to remain a non-bitch. Pardon my french.

So, I will go with option number two. 

If you think I am referring to you... chances are, you're probably right. Maybe I'll toughen up someday and tell you to your face, but until then, I will stay right here in my comfort zone. Remaining hidden behind this blog.

And I'm fine with that.

SO. HERE WE GO.

To you: Stop giving it control over your life. You're perfectly capable. 

To you: I still think you do it.

To you: Mignon. Enough said.

To you: COME ON.

And last, but certainly not least.

To you: You are Swedish and I would like to elope. I don't know your name, but you were in my dream last night and I'm taking that as a sign.

Cool.

xoxo,

Emily

College fair, in my hair.

Today was the college fair.

I was actually super stoked, because I forgot to do my English homework, and I never went in for help with Calculus. 

Oh, but before I get into that. I would just like to say that my high school is absolutely ridiculous. All the seniors were supposed to go to the auditorium for an assembly, and I wanted to finish my homework. I went into the commons and a tracker (people who make sure kids go to class) kicked me out. Then, I went into the library and got questioned multiple times about my grade. I lied of course. It was for the greater good.

Then, I went to the BYU presentation. It was quite enjoyable. I think I'm going to schedule a campus visit. One of the ones where it's one-on-one and they take you to classes and all that jeaaaazzzzz.

If you have any suggestions of places to go, I'm all ears.

Me and my friend decided we wanted crepes, so we started to leave. We saw my dear friend Twin (no, that is not really his name. but we are so similar it's the only name that fits) and stopped for a chat. Yet, another tracker came out and told us to go to the college fair. It isn't required or anything, so we started to walk to my car. "Um? Is that the way to the college fair? I don't think so."

So, we walked into one of the presentations and sat in the back. Apparently, that isn't good enough for presenters. They made us come sit up in the front. We were getting pretty restless thinking about all that precious crepe time that was being wasted. So, we got up and left. Perhaps it was rude. Oh well.

The crepes were delicious and I would easily do it again.

Well, I'm off to learn about Dental Assisting. Make sure you floss guys. You'd be surprised how much it improves your oral hygiene.

xoxo

Emily

I had a picnic with my dog. And yes, it was enjoyable.

I kind of can't believe that just happened, but I also feel it was necessary. My weekend was pretty uneventful.

Trixie and I picnicked (?) in the park. We had the strangest sandwiches. You will probably think this sounds repulsive, but you know what my mamma always says, "don't judge a book by it's cover". Ok. So, maybe other people say that also, but you know what I mean.

2 slices of bread.

A very thinly spread layer of whole-grain mustard.

A slice of cheddar cheese.

A layer of apple slices.

Try it. It's surprisingly better than you'd think.

Trixie ate all mine.

That food whore.

Anyways. I went to my friend's house afterwards and drank some delicious hot chocolate. Then, we went to the park. This kid lost a bet and he had to streak across it. For those of you who don't know what that is, it just means to run around naked. He wore his boxers (thank you) and ran the perimeter. I guess it was thrilling? I don't know. No one was there... so it didn't really make sense in my head. I don't know. I guess I'll never know until I try it.

Then, we lit fireworks. It was enjoyable, because I didn't really get to see many on the 4th of July. The ones we lit were like, the legit kind they use at attractions and carnivals. They left a dent in the dirt from the impact. 

Then, we tried to take those cool pictures that people always take with Sparklers, but it didn't work out. I left my DSLR at home, and my iPhone just wasn't up for the challenge.

After that I watched The Unborn with one of my friends I haven't spoken with for a while. That movie is scary!! Especially the unrated version. I've always wondered who comes up with stuff like that. I mean, you'd have to be pretty creative. I wonder if it's based off of someone's bad trip or something.

WAIT. Here's a pet peeve of mine.

Ok. WEED AND MARIJUANA AND POT ARE ALL THE SAME THING.

I absolutely hate when someone says...

"yeah. he like... smokes weed and stuff... and i hear he does marijuana..."

Really? Come on.

Please, don't refer to them like they are different drugs. They are all the same. 

That's all for now folks.

Dare me to do something.

xoxoxo,

Emily

Construction can go to hell.

WOW. Ok. This is going to happen right now.
Rant: Starting.

My mom ran into Wal-Mart a couple months ago, and some JUNKIE, HIPSTER, LOSER, LONE PEAK CHUM jacked her GPS. The very same GPS I use to go to Salt Lake.
Whatever, that happened and it sucked, but it wasn't the end of the world. Since then I have gotten lost multiple times. It sucks, but it is what it is.

NEVER IN MY LIFE. NEVER. HAVE I GOTTEN SO LOST AS I DID TONIGHT.
I am livid.

Here's what happened.

So, I get out of my meeting at 9:17. I drive to Halladay to get a costume for my friend. We spend approximately three minutes there. We hit the road again. We merge right to go West, instead of merging left to go North. We get on the wrong freeway and say goodbye to another 6 minutes. We get back on the right freeway. I drop her off.

Now here folks, is where it gets real ridiculous. Apparently, Utah has recently passed a law where there must be maddening construction going on at all times. If a day goes by where someone doesn't almost crash or yell curse words at the top of their lungs, then that's a problem.

So, I'm heading back from my friends house to get on the free way and go home. I approach the ramp, only to be greeted by the two worst, most unreasonable, unnecessary words in the whole world: Ramp Closed.

Like, what the hell? You can't close a ramp!! How're people supposed to get to where they need to go?! So, I was on the phone with my mother at the moment, talking about how I had gotten lost previously. I see a sign that says "detour" when I come upon a stop light. However, there is no direction for this "detour" sign, and there are orange cones plaguing the street. So, I naturally keep driving straight.

I'm talking to my mom and freaking out, because I'm lost. I realize where I am sort of, so I tell her. She can't figure out which way I'm coming from. So, she decides on this beautiful piece of advice.
"Ok.... ok. Ok. Emily? Drive on that road... until you see another road. That's big. Then turn onto that one and get on the freeway."

Cool. Thanks mom. You know, that will be super easy. Considering the fact that all the roads are the same size and none of them lead to the freeway that is now behind me... ya.

So, I ended up going back to my friend's house. From there I went to my other friends house. I could remember how I got to his house, so I got back on the freeway and all was good.

BUT IT'S NOT OVER.
My mother wanted me to get Burger King. Of all the places. I drive up, place my order, and pay the woman. I asked for a diet coke, and she gave me coke. Now I have an extra 200 calories going on, which means my thighs will touch and I haven't even had children yet.

Then, I go to leave. Guess what? THE ROAD WAS CLOSED. So, I flipped a U-ie right in the middle of the road and backtracked yet again.

Here I am, home at last. After two hours of driving. It usually takes me about 45 minutes... so that's what? Like, at least an hour of driving around lost? Cool.

Oh!! And, to top it all off, when I got home I made an "annoying jar" for my mother and told her to put three dollars inside of it. She got all offended and told me I was being unreasonable and rude. NOTICE: She did not thank me for the food, ask me how I got home, or apologize for being a pain.

Mother, if you are reading this, you not only owe me three dollars, but also a nice dinner to Tuscany and a winter drive down 9000 East.


Well, that's all folks. I'm getting my film photos tomorrow from Wal-Mart. So, prepare yourself.
If you have any ideas of things I should do with my life, I'm all open. I'm so terribly bored these days.

I did have a picnic with Trixie and watch a kid streak, but that will be tomorrow's post.



Goodnight my dearies.
I hope your mother is better with directions and apologies than mine.

xoxoxoxxxoo
Emily

What a stud.

For some reason it won't play on here, so just click the link to watch it on YouTube.

I have a sudden urge to document everything I do.

But the thing is, I don't exactly do anything exciting. I go to school and come home. Bam. Teenagers usually have semi-interesting lives. What with break-ups and best friends and lying skanky hos. Sorry to disappoint.

Ok. Maybe the following will be of interest to you:

-My old best friend hasn't talked/texted me for two weeks. She has a boyfriend. In case you didn't know, those are more important.

-In mine and my new BFF's free time, we are building a giant Lego tower. Be jealous.

-My niece is adorable. The end.

-I'm really craving some eggs and toast, so I'm going to go make some while listening to the new Jack's Mannequin album. Perfection.



Until tomorrow,
Sincerely yours,
Depending on who you are,
And if you like winter and snow,
Emily.

An introduction.

I always see these surveys on Tumblr, and I think they look fun. I've decided I'm going to start doing them. You know, because you're all dying to know the last thing I ate.

LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED:
What time did you get up this morning? 9:30. I stayed up until 3, otherwise it would have been 8.
How do you like your steak? Non-existent!! I don't eat meat.
What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Dream House. I thought it was good! I guess it only got two stars, and my mother didn't care for it. But, I thought it was good. It has twists and conflict, and besides, Daniel Craig is hot!
What is your favourite TV show? Friends! I seriously laugh out loud when I watch it. Plus, it has like a bazillion episodes.
If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Ok, well it depends what age I am. But, for the majority of my life, I would like to live in Spokane, Washington.
What did you have for breakfast? Well! I had two scrambled eggs (with a hint of ginger and salt) and toast with plum marmalade, and a glass of milk.
What is your favorite food? Hmmm. Probably chocolate covered marshmallows. Like the marshmallow Santas at Christmas time. Those are delicious. Or, I really like Caprese, but it depends where it's from.
Foods you dislike? I hate those circus peanut candies, cottage cheese, beans (by themselves), pumpkin seeds, cheese curds, oranges, plain chocolate ice cream, orange juice with pulp, meat, and I HATE THE SMELL OF COOKED CHICKEN.
Favorite place to eat? Gloria's Little Italy in Provo. Or Mimi's Cafe in Orem. Favorite dressing? Um... Anything fat free. I don't get the point in eating a salad, if you're just going to get a normal dressing! It's not necessarily healthier to you that way, because the dressing has so much fat in it.
What kind of vehicle do you drive? A pimpin' bronze Plymouth Grand Voyager. Also an adorable 1989 turquoise Honda Elite.
What are your favorite clothes? For me? Dresses and skirts. Also, button downs and Mary Janes. For boys? Button downs, bow ties, stripes, khaki pants, and sweaters.
Where would you visit if you had the chance? A lot of places. Bath, England. Vermont. New York. Italy. A quaint town somewhere in France. 
Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Depends on the day and the event.
Where would you want to retire? Somewhere beautiful. Who knows what state things will be in then.
Favorite time of day? Early morning, right when the sun is starting to rise.
Where were you born? Grand Junction, Colorado.
What is your favorite sport to watch? I don't watch sports. 0_0
What is your favorite fragrance? Dream Angels Heavenly from Victoria Secret, or that Gucci Blue?? Cologne for men.
People watcher? Yes. More than you know...
Are you a morning or night person? I'm nicer at night, but I like mornings better. They just have more potential.
Do you have any pets? Yes. Her name is Trixie and she is about 12 and so adorable.
Any new and exciting news you’d like to share? Hmm. I got 100 on my calculus homework! And a I won the best essay in my English group. ALSO. I couldn't start my scooter for forever, but then I took it in, and the guy told me I just needed to start it while it was still up on it's kickstand. So, now I can start it easily, which means I can go to the park and take photos more.
What did you want to be when you were little? A plastic surgeon.... I know.
What is your favorite memory? I have two. 1.) Waking up to the sound of rain hitting the window at my grandma's house during spring break of 9th grade. 2.) Laying on the love seat in the basement on a snowy winter night, listening to the cashmere music channel, and waiting for my friend to come over.
Are you a cat or dog person? I like dogs better, but cats are so adorable.
Are you married? No.
Always wear your seat belt? Yes. I don't have a death wish.
Been in a car accident? No.
Any pet peeves? Yes. The sound of dogs licking. The sound of people molding raw hamburger meat. The sound of my mom's toothbrush. The word "spontaneity". When people yell. Things coming fast at my face.
Favorite pizza toppings? Spinach and tomatoes.
Favorite flower? I don't know what they're called, but they are huge and fluffy.
Favorite ice cream? Vanilla.
Favorite fast food restaurant? Subway
How many times did you fail your driver’s test? None. I rock.
From whom did you get your last email? Fastweb Scholarships.
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Modcloth.
Do anything spontaneous lately? No. :(. I will try to tonight though.
Like your job? I don't really have one. Sometimes, I work at the Dinosaur Museum, and I quite like that. 
Broccoli? Love it.
What was your favorite vacation? Spokane. Particularly in the Winter. Ok, probably Thanksgiving to Spokane a couple years ago.
Last person you went out to dinner with? My mother. Lol, there was this old Asian man who kept walking around the restaurant and he had the most peculiar look on his face. His mouth was wide open and he was slumped over. He just looked so confused. Every time I saw him and I burst out laughing. When we were leaving, I looked back at my mom and he was right behind here. I seriously peed my pants and little bit and booked it out of there.
What are you listening to right now? Jen tell Jack that they can't have sex. (This on Dawson's Creek.) I'm very confused because I thought he was gay, but they are both drunk and making out. I thought that if you're gay, being drunk won't really make a difference on being attracted to someone... So why is he trying to have sex with her?!
What is your favorite color? Green.
How many tattoos do you have? ZERO.
Coffee drinker? On occasion. Mainly Pumpkin Spice Lattes in the winter, and White Chocolate Mochas in the summer.

Rant #1:

He has class III malocclusion, but makes up for it with very white enamel and a perfect maxillary arch.

Alright, here's the thing. People on Facebook add people they barely know just so they can have a lot of "friends". People on Blogger follow someone, solely because that person will follow them back and then they will have more followers. People on Twitter follow someone for a follow back.

I don't understand.

What is it with people? Why does everyone feel so uncomfortable with a low amount of followers or friends? I mean, it's not like it's some huge ego boost to have 500. It simply means there are 500 people you don't even know pretending to read your blog, when in reality they haven't looked at it since the day you made the I'll-follow-you-if-you-follow-me pact. And Facebook. Really? Is it honestly necessary to add your co-workers semi friend who he texted twice and that's it? I mean, HONESTLY.

Stop pretending you have friends. In reality, you're just another social climber who is too uncomfortable with themselves to be real.

That's all.