I will marry a man with curly, brown hair.

I don't know you guys. 

I feel like I've seen a lot of stacked food in the past two hours. First, it was my brother-in-law's triple sandwich. Now, it's Lukes giant Oreo.

Ok. My medicine. HATE IT. I don't know what it fees like to be high, but I feel soooooo weird every time I take it. I took one this morning, and then all through art I felt like I was dreaming. It wasn't that bad though, so I just didn't pay too much attention to it. However, I took another one at 6:30 and now everything feel so weird. I don't even know how to explain it. Like, everything is in slow motions and it takes my eyes longer to focus. Also, I feel like my limbs are super heavy. Every time I sit down, I don't want to get up. It's weird, but whatever.

I'm not taking it again. Grossssss.

I just realized I've never seen a clown in real life before. Like, one of the happy ones, ya know? I would like to see one, one of these days. Also, a Lifeproof case, white cuddly bunny, and iPod to car adapter would be nice also. I don't think it would hurt to wear a Pajamagram every night either.

Prove me wrong. I dare you.

Well. Today was uneventful.

I was supposed to go to tardy school, but I didn't. I did see that attractive young lad during first though. I think he only has three shirts, which makes him somewhat less attractive. But, he's attractive none the less. I feel like in some altenate dimension I am dating him. Also, I am smoking weed everyday and dropping the efffff bomb like "it's fine".

I'm glad I don't live in that dimension.
It scares me sometimes.

I was going to give plasma, but they didn't let me because I pierced my nose in December. There's some karma for you.

All I want to do is photograph people for my portfolio and have the tea party I have been planning with five different people for four different years. Maybe I'd also like to take a walk with that one boy, but not for too long because I'm secretly scared he's going to rape me. Oh, it'd also be nice if the young men at my school would stop looking at my boobs. It's not sneaky and I totally know. Talk about awkward. My eyes are up hereeeee boy. I guess it's not really their fault. I blame my mother and her double d genetics.

I guess it just got really sexual. My apologies.

Some people avoid saying "sex" or "penis" like the plauge. I think that's more awkward. Just say it! Except don't yell it, because not even Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon Levitt can pull that off.
Where are my gnomes to answer these questions and sooth my anger problems.

I can't find them anywhere these days.

A Lack. Of Black. Let's Mack.

Well. Today was swell. These photos are actually from the dental convention my friends and I went to a couple weeks back. However, due to my complete lack of photographing, I am just posting them now.

I wonder if any of them feel awkward about being on here. Hmmm. Perhaps I should have asked before I posted this. Maybe, I will save it as a draft and then ask tomorrow and then post.

But, that's too much work. If you are in this photo and you oppose, please inform me.

In other news, I started my internship at a general dentist today and it's AMAZING! This dentist has the most high tech things! He has a Cerac (?) machine that makes the crown right there! Also, he has an i-so-dry (?) that basically keeps all of the saliva out of the mouth and eliminates the need for a rubber dam! How amazing right?! It's super cool. Oh, also, he has a hand piece for composite. It vibrates when it puts the composite in, so it gets into all the pits and fissures, and then it hardens a little bit to gel. It seriously is so cool. I love my pediatric office, but at my general I get more one on one time. It's grrrrrreat.

Well, in other news I am OBSESSED with slow jams. It's scary how much I listen to them. Sometimes I don't invite people places, because I know they won't approve of listening to them. Is that bad? Eh. Whatever. In case you are wondering what exactly slow jams are, let me give you a list of my favorites. Now, not all of them have to be sexual. There are some that are completely fine, but these are the ones that I like the best.

1. Falsetto – The Dream
2. Birthday Sex – Jeremiah
3. I like – Jeremiah
4. Bump N' Grind – R Kelly
5. It's In The Morning – Robin Thicke
6. Sex Therapy – Robin Thicke
7. You Belong To Me – Trey Songz
8. Neighbors Know My Name – Trey Songz
9. Motivation – Kellly Rowland
10. Day Dreaming – Tamia

Those my friends, are the songs to success. I feel like I'm forgetting some of the ones I really like, but that's all I can think of for now.

Tomorrow, I am working all day. Then, Friday, my mother, sister, and I are going to see Hunger Games! Yay! Then on Saturday I will attend the festival of colors! So, hopefully there will be some more interesting posts this weekend!

Allmyheart,

Emily

It just happens sometimes.

I know it's been a while, but I'm finally ready to talk.

I hate a lot of things. I hate the way my teacher pronounces the word "always" and I hate the way my sister pronounces the word "coupons". I hate that girl who lies and that other girl who never does. I hate that boy who needs help and I hate that boy who offers too much. I hate the people who call me hipster, because I'm pretty sure it's an insult. I hate the days where the sun is in my face and I can't see where I'm driving. I hate the dreams where I jump off a cliff and don't die. I hate the tapeworm in my stomach and the gnomes who never come when I need them to.
But, most of all, I hate how everyone is sad.

I hate hearing the sob stories. I do. I absolutely hate them. And, I don't hate them because they are lies. I don't hate them because they make me feel stupid. I hate them because they perfectly illustrate how twisted humans can be. They remind me of all the bad there is out in the world. 

They are the acid to my perfectly painted, yellow canvas.

I've spent a lot of time on that canvas, and I don't want acid anywhere near it. But, I think that's cheating. They wouldn't make yellow paint in bulk if you weren't going to have to repaint.

I just hate it when it happens I guess.

I don't want acid on my canvas and I don't want that girl crying on my shoulder. I don't want that boy calling me to yell. Or ever really. I want everyone to be happy, not because they've learned to deal with things, but because the perpetrators no longer exist. I want all the bad people gone.

That's what I really want.
Not world peace, not an abolishment of sickness, not a bazillionmilliontrillion dollars. I want all those stupid, bad people who ruin lives to turn into worms and be eaten by one of those ugly birds with the white stripe and long tail. Because those are the ugliest and it's only fitting.

I don't think that's possible though. Even if I wanted to turn them into worms, my wand is broken. And let's face it, even if my wand wasn't broken I still wouldn't, because wands aren't real and magic isn't either.

So, I guess we just have to learn how to deal with these stupid people. Bad people. Terrible people. Life ruining people. We have to go to therapy or read 1984 or watch Amelie or listen to some Bright Eyes. We have to remember that they don't control us and that we can be who we want and do what we please. We have to tell them to go to hell and not care about the repercussions. We have to be strong and stand up for ourselves. We have to take control of our lives and stop letting them play us like children.

We have to learn to delete them from our lives and forget all the bad things that have happened. We have to run to Home Depot as fast and we possibly can and buy all the yellow paint in the whole store. We have to demand more and hug them when they say "that's all there is". Then, we have to share our canvases and make them into a huge wall that stretches over the whole world. 

I'm making mine. Where's yours?

I don't want to go alone.

Photo overload.
I know.

I'm not sorry.

I guess I'm just really into black and white photos lately. Also, I discovered fire... man. I could photograph fire all night and love every single photo.

Anyways. I guess I'll tell about my weekend now, so if you don't care then skip this paragraph, but read the next. So, Friday night we went to HobNob's last show. I know my friends are going to read this, but I have to say it. Those shows scare the hell out of me!! I mean, I guess it's not scary in real life. But, skanking (youtube search that if you don't know what it is) is scary. And those circle things they do, are scary as well! I'm always scared I'm going to get trampled ha ha. When HobNob was playing, I kept getting scared the crowd was going to show me into the band playing and then I'd ruin everything. It is fun though. I mean, it's terrifying, but it's fun. Kind of like... skydiving. Even though I've never been. So that's actually a terrible simile. Anyways, then after the show we went to Dee's and I ate some fries (which look completely unappetizing in black and white I might add). Then, on Saturday I took my friend's senior photos, which I will talk more about later. After that we went to another friend's house and had a social gathering with great people. The girl with glasses and short hair has the voice of an angel. I've changed my funeral song to Waiting On An Angel by Ben Harper, and I sort of want to die tomorrow, just so she can sing it at my funeral. Anyways, we roasted marshmallows and attempted to do henna, but one tube was clogged, one was way too hard, and one was too oily. So, none of our hennas really turned out. Annnnnnnnd, that was pretty much my weekend.

Alright, so, I was going to do an AP art portfolio, but I didn't get any paintings done really, so I decided not to. However, this morning the most brilliant thought came in to my head. I SHOULD DO IT WITH PHOTOGRAPHY! I mean, that's sooooo much easier. I've decided to concentrate on skeletons. My stomach flip flops even telling you guys that, because I am so super in love with this idea, I don't want anyone to steal it. And, I know, I know, that's like super weird a possessive and it's not like I'm the only one who's ever had that idea before, but I know how certain people at my school work (and I'm not referring to you)and it just makes me nervous, saying my ideas before I've executed them.

However, I do need people to be part of my project. So, if you live in Provo or Salt Lake or between and would like to participate, email me at projectadoration@hotmail.com and I'll give you more information. 

In other news, like I said earlier, I took my friend's senior photos. I'm not done editing them yet, but I'm sure when I'm done she will post them on her blog. So, I'll give you folks a link to that when they go up.

Well, that's pretty much it. If you are reading this and it's Monday, go to Beans and Brews and get a $2 mocha.

I really hope you folks have a lovely day. I wish I knew you all personally, because I'm sure you're the greatest people. I feel like sharing a secret, so I'll tell you something: Actually, if my mother got word I'd be in trouble. You'll have to wait until fall starts and I'm out of her disciplining range. ;).

XOXO

Emily

These photos are from Homecoming. In case you were wondering.

Sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating and there are all these hands on my throat and covering my nose and holding a pillow to my face. And it makes me want to run away to the old tintic mine in Goshen and wheatpaste my feelings for a week. Or surround myself with hairless cats and sing them lullabies until they fall asleep. Or purchase 80 million rolls of black and white film and shoot my life story so I can give it to a homeless person who will just burn it for warmth or to get their next heroin fix. 

And then all that will be left will be crumpled tin foil and ashes.

You know? I don't want crumpled tin foil. I want nice, crisp, clean tin foil. The kind that hasn't ever been touched or used. The kind that fits perfect over the broccoli and cheese I just gave to my mother because I was sick of the taste. 

I want that tin foil. 
I want those cats meowing in harmony with my lullabies.
I want to meet Shepard Fairey while I'm in Goshen and chat with him. Or maybe even Banksy, and see just how a small girl searches a police officer. Ya, Banksy would be nice.

But, honestly? These hands are not going to stop shoving down feather pillows on me. They aren't going away, no matter how hard I push them. They are growing on me. They are growing into my skin. We are melting together in this not-so-winterish-weather. It's sick and it's wrong and it's driving me crazy.

But, it's just something that happens sometimes and we all have to deal with it.

New in shop + Etsy store open

Alright. So, couple of changes.

I feel annoying posting my shop and Etsy things on here, so from now on I'll tell if either one is updated on my Twitter or in the title of a post, but I'm not going to post photos ha ha ha.

I just miss my photography.

Anways, so yes. Basically, new stuff is in the shop. Check it out.

Also, I've finally opened an Etsy. Right now it's just bows for hair and stuff, but I'm starting to work on some collars, so hopefully those will be in by this time next week.

Well, I'm going to go do some calculus and work on collars.

Have a lovely evening.

Or morning.

Or day.

Um...

Yes.

XOXO

Emily

Warning: this post is pointless.

Well, I'm just sitting here at my old place of employment. And let me just say, I CAN NOT BELIEVE I HAVE 90 FOLLOWERS. 

It's weird, ya know? I mean, I don't feel like this blog is "really awesome" or is even anything worth talking about. But, 90 FOLLOWERS?! Geez. You folks are toooooo kind. Sincerely. 

All the comments I get make me so happy:). I always try to trace your links and comment back on your blogs. I like to think of it as a little comment conversation... hahaha. But, oh my gosh. I can't believe I have 90 followers! I remember when I first started this, Sarah B.....(I don't want creepy Internet molesters to stalk her) told me to make a fashion blog. So, that's what I did. I remember signing up for Mormon Fashion Bloggers and IFB, but I didn't know it'd rake me in 40 page views a day! Maybe that isn't a lot to you guys. But, I know for me it's super crazy to think that 40 people are actually reading what I have to say.

Well, I'm sorry this is getting all sentimental, but let me just say...

I LOVE MY FOLLOWERS!!!

You guys are like genuine friends to me:).

OH, let me just make a promise though. I promise to always blog about whatever is on my mind. I will never post anything just because I feel like I need to. I will never be one of those annoying "follow me and I'll follow back". I will always tell you folks what's going on, and even if that person might be reading my blog, I will still tell you. Because, it's fair that way.

This is a separate thought process, but I was just thinking. I think blogs should be a place where people can spill anything. And I don't mean that they should say all the drama that's going on (because no one really cares anyways... what?), but I think people should never NOT post something just because they are scared someone is going to read it. Bahaha. Confession: Sometime I want to post something, but then I remember my sister reads this, so I don't.

Pick a date my friends. Sometime in the summer. And I will answer any juicy questions you have in complete honesty. I actually think that would be fun!! We can spread it around to the whole blogosphere!! Bloggers everywhere will be coming closer together!! I think we should do it. We'll call it... The Confession Session. The one and only rule will be that you have to answer every question you receive, and you have to be 100% honest. 
Alright? 
Confession Session.
Let's do this folks.

XOXO,
Emily